The Tide that Binds

What I Was
Meg Rosoff
Doubleday Canada

Set in an English backwater boarding school during the early 60s, What I Was tells the story of 16-year old Hilary --a boy who has already mastered the art of disaffection. Having been expelled from two schools previously, H ends up at St. Oswald's and quickly settles into the same old routine of bad food, worse dorms and the torturous attentions of upper classmen. Just living in such a dour and dismal place proves to be an exercise of Sisyphean proportions. It all changes, however, the moment H meets Finn -- a boy of almost unbearable beauty who lives in a cabin at the edge of the sea.

H is taken with the young man on a number of levels. In fact, it is almost as if Finn is the mirror of what H desires to be --independent, confident, capable, smart and elusive. It has been quite some time since I have read a book that so captures the feelings first love -- the excitement, anxiety, fear and absolute yearning for someone other than yourself. As the friendship between the two characters grows, Rosoff takes her readers to an almost magical place where anything is possible. The real world eventually intrudes, however, and H's idyll collapses like a wave crashing against the sand.

What I Was is a lovely story in all ways. The author's prose was passionate, intimate and at times, left me breathless -- so much so that I want to visit the land, sea and sky that she has beautifully described. The fact the the story eluded my expectations was an unanticipated bonus. Three and a half wheeling seabirds out of five.