Fiends, Animals and Fucktards

You Suck
Christopher Moore
William Morrow

Over the past few months, I have spent a great deal of time in my car. The downside is that I don't particularly enjoy driving -- especially by myself. The upside is that I have recently discovered audio books. Thanks to both my kick ass sound system and my local library, the road is no longer a sad and lonely place.

Last week, I listened to You Suck by Christopher Moore. The book opens with the hero, C. Thomas Flood (aka Tommy) discovering that his girlfriend Jody has recently turned him into one of the undead. Like all good fledgling vampires, Tommy goes out and recruits a minion -- Abby Normal -- a sixteen year old goth girl who looks like a broken marionette. Abby is completely infatuated with "vampire" culture and lives for the day when Lord Flood will complete her transformation into a creature of the night.

Maybe it would have been a different experience had I read the novel instead of having listened to it, but the best parts of the narration were the "excerpts" from Abby's journal. When she called someone a fucktard for the first time I almost drove off the road I laughed so hard. Like all Moore books, You Suck was a hilarious. Three stoner stock boys out of five.